Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom

Whoever thinks this job is fairly easy, is borderline crazy. Have you ever tried staying home with a baby to take care of? Not for an hour, but 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Without monetary compensation, no breaks and no leaves. Is there even a work like it? Well, I don’t think so.

When I was still single, I never thought of myself to be a career woman. I felt it wasn’t my calling and because I am close to my Mom, I wanted to raise my own child, just as she did. We did have helpers around, but my mom was the one personally taking care of me. Joey grew up the same way and I think that greatly influenced our decision to get to this point.

Even before marrying Joey, we have already agreed that I won’t be working afterwards. I’ll be that domesticated housewife who would prepare his meals, do the laundry, iron his clothes, clean the house, do the grocery, take care of our children, and so on and so forth. In my head, I was excited for most of it except for the ironing part – Joey is very particular about this that even though I knew how to iron, I had to unlearn it and relearn the way he wants it done. He was just used to it that way, and I was okay with it. All these things we chose to do were also in preparation for the time when I hopefully get pregnant. After all, our goal was that I’ll be the one to take care of our child. Anything else that concerned the household, he made me the one responsible for it.

During the early months, we didn’t hire a helper. I knew I could do it, so I did it all on my own. Even did the laundry by hand because I was used to it while I was growing up. I’m not a big fan of the washing machine, by the way, except for jeans and other hard to wash stuff. It was also a way to save myself from the headache of having a helper. You all know how hard it is nowadays to get a reliable and trustworthy person to work for you. At least, I’ll be able to do things exactly the way we want it. We saved a bit this way too, and we used that money to slowly buy our furnitures. When I got pregnant with Matilda though, we had to hire one already since I won’t be able to do all those things by myself anymore. And most importantly, to keep me company when Joey is out-of-town for work. Note that we were still in Davao then, as I mentioned in my other post.

So what is it actually like to be a Stay-at-Home Mom? I prepared a short list for you and here it goes:

1. It’s fun! You get to be with your child day and night.
2. You’ll be there to witness their every single milestone.
3. You won’t have to miss them.
4. Your child will get to know you and you will get to know them. You’ll build a different level of bond for each other.
5. You will personally build their character. During the formative years, this is very important.

The list seems alright, then why did I say in the first part that whoever thinks this job is fairly easy, is borderline crazy? Here goes the Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom:

1. When your child starts crying, it can be a bit tricky, and sometimes frustrating to make them stop. (If you’re a parent, you’ll understand.)
2. Putting them to sleep is sometimes easy, and sometimes really difficult.
3. You’ll have to wash their bum a lot of times – daily! Until they are big enough to do this themselves. (Unless your child has a nanny to do this for you).
4. When they start exploring like crawling or walking, it can be very exhausting.
5. When they get sick, you’ll definitely shed some tears – okay, a lot, really.
6. Wait! Your work doesn’t stop there! You still have a husband!

After God, your spouse should be your next priority. – Wait, what? Why does he even have to be a priority? Isn’t he old enough to take care of himself? Let’s see the right order of priorities according to the scripture:

1. God
• Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. (Deuteronomy 6:5 NIV)

God commanded that we seek Him first, above all things.

2. Spouse
• Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:22-25 NIV)

Husbands will rule over the wife and the wife must submit to the husband. – This has been God’s design after the fall of man. (Note the verses from Genesis below).

3. Children
• Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6 NASB)

As Parents, we were commanded to raise Godly children and since the husbands were instructed to work and provide for the family, (as seen on the following verses below) this duty will mainly fall under the hands of the wife.

These verses serve as a reminder to what my purpose in life is. I’m not only a mom but a wife too – and being a wife should be a priority. I must admit, I fail Joey sometimes in those areas that concern him. Matilda’s presence in our lives can be overwhelming that I tend to forget that her father has needs as well.

Marriage takes a lot of work for both husband and wife, and until you accept the fact that God created you for a specific purpose, you will often find yourselves tested with big challenges. Having a child will change your marriage drastically – it needs to be prayed for. It will change a mother’s body physically, her mind psychologically and her heart emotionally. It will surely change the daily routine you have established alone and together, it will somehow leave your social life cold and there will be times you will forget about your own self in taking care of the new addition to your family. Most of us (wives) sometimes do not notice all of these changes, but our husbands do. The only way for you to understand each other is through open and honest communication. If and when your husband feels neglected, make it up to him. Remind him of why you love him and back it up with acts of service. As I have said, in this area, I am a little guilty, but I really try my best to be the same person I was even before we had Matilda. I am thankful and really blessed that even though I forget about my responsibilities as a wife sometimes, Joey would patiently remind me and would be very understanding about it. What we also learned to do, to keep our own sanity amidst those trying times, is to turn to God’s word and constantly remind ourselves that God crafted marriage beautifully and that if you follow His design, you will be blessed abundantly.

Since this set up is quite uncommon nowadays, wherein most mothers usually work alongside their husbands, you might ask how we make it work. Is one income ever enough for a household? Of course, YES! Scripture tells us that husbands are to provide for the family.

• And to the man he said, “Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat, the ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. It will grow thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains. By the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat until you return to the ground from which you were made. For you were made from dust, and to dust you will return.” (Genesis 3:17-19 NLT)

• But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:8 NASB)

To make it work, first of all, we choose to live a simple life – we have to, because we could never afford to live extravagantly with only one person in the house, working. So, we rarely eat out anymore unlike we used to when we were still dating. We don’t shop unless we NEED something and most of all, I am a breastfeeding and cloth diapering mom! How much we save on that alone must be dedicated to a separate blog post.

Going back, being a Stay at Home Mom works out for us because by God’s grace, we exert extra effort and strive to make it work. It isn’t easy, and we too struggle sometimes – mostly in our finances, but trusting God first and setting your priorities are key. Remember, the formative years will either make or break your child’s character. So setting an example at a young age will be substantial to the future of your child. This is why we chose this path. It might be difficult, but the end result will definitely be worth it.

Let me share my life verse:

• I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13 NIV)

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How about you? Are you a stay at home mom too? Or are you thinking of leaving work to personally take care of your child? Let’s talk about it!

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27 thoughts on “Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom

  1. I’ll soon be a SAHM and I’m excited to experience what you have been experiencing! But my hubby wants me to be a WAHM to which I’m also aiming so I could at least help him in family’s finances. 🙂

  2. fortunately we now live here in Canada where our Maternity leave is a year long and you can share it with your husband and atleast you get paid about 80% of your salary so i get to experience being a stay at home mom for a year with each of my kids so I know how fulfilling and challenging it is…luckily i have family here to help us with the kids so i get to go back to my FT job and to make it work my husband and i have to arrange our shifts so atleast one parent is there to feed and tuck them to sleep at night, its never easy but seeing ur kids happy and healthy makes it worthwhile…

    • Hello, sweet b! Thanks for dropping by and sharing your story. Praise God you have your family there with you to help you out with the kids. Living in a foreign country can be challenging and you’ll need all the support you can get. It’s also nice that you have a long maternity leave which enables you to be there for your new baby. I think you are also doing a great job by alternating with your husband in looking after the kids. Everything we do, we do for them! May God bless you and your family even more!

    • Hi Arvi! Thanks a lot! I made a comment but my internet connection is acting up so I’m not sure if it went through. I’ve read your post though and I agree in everything that you mentioned. That person who made the comment clearly did not bother reading the entire post and I honestly don’t mind. As our pastor once said, “Hurt People, Hurt People.” I pity her though, so let’s just pray that God will shed her some light. 🙂 Thanks again for the support! I’m feeling the love. 🙂

  3. Hi..someone wasn’t happy about sahm. This @myra mariano from facebook was telling that full tym moms are worthless& parasite etc. But as a mother of 2 (girl, boy) I totally agree that moms should actually be there for their kids. Esp. At their early developing years..before I complain how ugly I became after becoming a mother..a wife..i wanted a career. but my husband told me that being a mom is a job..most difficult job in the world. (Which makes me realised na OOnga..)I can see them stumble and fall..and assure them na ok lng yan.learn to walk and talk..Im able to send them to bed..with konting harutan.stories.singing..you can learn both from each other..Making memories together unlike some working moms they couldn’t see their kids first walk and talk..and not be able to see other milestones of their children. Anyway I just wanna share my thoughts about being a mother. We all have our own stories and reasons but at d end of the day..our priority is our children. We can all have our careers at the right time.kaya un mga taong wla nmn mgandang masabi about other people esp if u dont even know how to be in that shoe..shut up nlang.but u like me..as a sahm (well im doing a part time job now..but I make sure na mga anak ko p din priority ko…I always adjust my time pra hindi magsuffer un konteng time para sa anak ko together..like eating together..sleep together…we even bathe together..brushbour teeth together..)

    • Hello Mommy Divine! I’ve seen a screenshot of that comment you are referring to. It’s sad that she thinks that way but let us not allow her to make us think the same way. Maybe she’s going through something we can never understand so let’s just pray for her. Anyway, I’m glad and blessed to know that you are in the same boat as I am. Being a SAHM is a life decision we made, my husband and I. Every family makes this kind of decision based on religious background, tradition, values, priorities, etc. But one (SAHM vs Working Mom) is never greater than the other. It’s all a matter of balance and dedication. The desire to give what is best to your family. It depends on every family (couple) and it should always be respected. Thank you so much for dropping by and supporting the blog. Hope you liked the post and I’m hoping to see you around! God bless you!

      • Yes I liked ur post..I might as well follow u hihihi..I loved reading about kids.family and food^^
        Goodbless~~

  4. Nobody said it is going to be easy
    But it is going to be worthwhile
    (Quote from Touched by an Angel)

    I am a homeschooling SAHM myself… And the reward and challenge stem from the same thing: You are with your child all the time. Haha.

    • Madam Mec! That’s so true! I am aspiring to be a homeschooling mom myself. Both excited and anxious about that part. Sana di magsawa sa akin si Matilda! Haha! Thanks for dropping by! Hope you enjoyed the post. 🙂

  5. Hi!

    I love your post. I’m also SAHM for almost 5yrs now.

    It’s not easy but very rewarding 🙂

    Kudos to all SAHM!

  6. i totally agree.. its never easy to be a SAHM but its worth it.. seeing your kids grow right before your eyes and serving your hubby its priceless

  7. Hi! just read your blog and I’m proud of you, as I am proud of my mom. She took care of us and give up her work for us, not because she needed too but she loved to do it so that she could guide us properly. I am now a mom too but I’m working for my little girl for I am a single mom. And my mom took care of my 5 yrs old baby girl at home. Sad to know that not all the people appreciate “moms”, but I’m proud to say that I am one of those that proud to become one. I got more reasons to live and work hard for. My life now is worthy and she is my life now. I’m glad and thankful that God gave me a blessing to take care of. Because not all those who wanted to have one, deserves to have… 🙂

    • Hi Jhoan! Thank you so much for your kind words. I feel the love you have for your mom and your child. The set-up you are in right now is not easy but I praise God that you have a positive attitude about it. We’ll really do everything for our children. 🙂 May God bless you and your family even more!

  8. Hi! I loved this post. I actually saw the negatron pic of that lady bashing SAHMs first so decided to look up the post she was referring to. I have nothing but love and respect for SAHMs. I think it takes a different kind of will, perseverance, strength, and courage to be one, and I wish with all my heart I could stay home, too, and care for my son and not have to go to work anymore. Before I went back to work in January, I was a full-time SAHM, too, and in those few months, I realized that it is, indeed, the most challenging job in the world. The joys are endless, the frustrations are many, but the rewards are infinite, too.

    Thank you for empowering the SAHMs. I think they’re one of the most underappreciated group of people in our society, and they really deserve the praise and recognition. God bless you and your family. 🙂

    • Hi Giane! You’re comment is so heartfelt. I almost cried! I wish people would take Stay-at-Home Moms more seriously and treat us with respect just as any person derserves it. No one will ever truly understand what it feels like until you experience it yourself. I am glad you had the chance and I wish you’d be able to do what your heart deeply desires. I am inspired by mothers like you. Thank you so much for showing your appreciation for the blog and most especially for mothers like me. May God continue to bless you and your family always. 🙂 Hope to see you around!

  9. Hello Mommies,

    I’m so glad that I found this blog, it made me feel that I’m not alone (^__^). Well, me here is also a SAHM, a mom of a 10 months old baby boy. I’m away from home, away from my family that’s why I found it hard sometimes to stay at home and do all the things that I need to do, especially to our baby boy. We don’t have a nanny and helper, me and my husband helps each other by distributing our responsibilities but when it comes to our baby most of the responsibilities are mine. I am a nurse but I decided not to practice my profession for my baby. Being a mom is not an easy job, you need to do a lot of things for your family, you even forgot to take a bath sometimes.But all the sacrifices are all worth it because we are doing it for our love ones. Being a SAHM is not just a job but a calling I guess, it needs a lot of love, care,passion,sacrifices and patience. We are a SUPERMOMS! God Bless everyone, God Bless our families and more power to us mommies 🙂

  10. I’m a working mom and i wish i could be a stay-at-home-moms but due to our financial stability, my husband’s income is not enough to provide for our daughter and for the house hold. I miss my baby everyday and the most exciting part of the day is hurrying home just to be with my daughter again. It’s fine missing your daughter’s first walk or first word, it doesn’t happen only once naman, basta makita mo lang growth development nya, to me, it’s GOLD na. So kudos to every full time mom in this world for always being there for their sons and daughters kase guidance is very important to children.

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